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YourStory: I Am Beautiful!

I am 20 years old. I have Cerebral Palsy. And I am wearing a short skirt for the very first time in my life. I feel awkward. I cannot assess at all whether it looks good or not. It’s just so different. Air, cold air, around my lower legs… some kind of sexiness… scary and joyful at the same time.

I feel this is a big step for me. I don’t feel ashamed for my extraordinary legs and running style but I show it off. WHOA! I am being a self-confident, abled WOMAN rather than a little, dis-abled girl. WHOA! ²

Amazing! ♥

This is what I wrote as a Facebook status on 8th October 2012, 21:53:

My name is Cinderella, I am from Germany, and this moment was a milestone, or even better, a transformation in my life. I recognized that until then, I was always given the feeling that I have to hide my legs because of my disability. When I was a child, there were days when I wore a dress or short pants but I always felt uncomfortable. I felt vulnerable and ugly. Unfortunately but unsurprisingly this was also the feedback, which I got. My classmates in school bullied me, people passing by on the street mimicked my walking style, and worst of all, even some family members told me to put clothes on that would hide my “abnormality”.

It took my whole life, 20 years, to fully recognize that I am anything but abnormal. And I still struggle with it sometimes. I think this recognizing process really began in February 2012 when I was absolutely down mentally and physically. I had been going through a number of nervous breakdowns in the past and in February I had one again. But this time I made a huge decision. I quit my previous lifestyle from one day to another by leaving school and deciding to do my very own thing instead. My family went nuts; most of my friends and other people around me didn’t understand why I did so. But I know from the bottom of my soul that it was the best decision I have ever made in my life so far. Times have been simply fabulous since then. Of course, I am experiencing a lot of trouble but I now have the strength and trust to get through it because I feel that in the end I will learn another amazing life lesson and be even stronger. I like the variety I am experiencing and I am very thankful that I have met so many new, inspiring people.

One of these people, a man I met during a holiday, kicked off this important recognition that I am not only beautiful by my character and charisma but that my body is, too. I met him only once so far but after this meeting I knew that I wanted to get out of the “camouflage suit” I had been wearing and then go out to tell the world who I really am. I am my mind AND my body and they are both amazing as a whole.

When I put on the skirt for the first time I was very confused. I wasn’t sure at all if it fit, what it looked like, and my crooked feet looking out underneath irritated me. My first impulse was to quickly take it off again but I told myself a loud “NO!” and stepped in front of the mirror in my room. Honestly, I didn’t like the look of the skirt with my crooked feet underneath but I forced myself to keep looking at it anyway and finally really look at myself. It was worth it. Slowly but steadily a thought appeared in my mind, then it turned into a picture and transformed into different visions.

First, I saw myself walking down the street wearing fancy black leather boots, a trendy top and the skirt while going out with friends on a Saturday night. We were laughing hard and just having a great time. Then the vision changed and I sat in my new shiny black wheelchair wearing sexy tights in combination with the skirt, a very elegant blouse and shiny jewellery while I was at a top-class restaurant- accompanied by a very good looking man.

The latter keeps constantly appearing through day and night, so I took it as a symbol to remind me of my new strength, sexiness, self-confidence and my new goals, not only in difficult situations but also when I consider myself unsightly again.

Ladies, all I can say is: Do it! Go out there, show the world who you really are and be proud! Don’t hide from yourself. Step in front of the mirror, look at yourself with awareness and discover both the beautiful and the not so beautiful parts of your body. Then take the not so beautiful and hold on for a moment. Listen to your soul. Maybe some ideas how to change your body in a friendly way will appear (eating healthier food, doing more sports) or you will get new inspiration on how to dress differently. Maybe you even recognize that these pretended ugly parts of your body aren’t ugly at all but simply little pieces which make up an individual, beautiful human being as a whole: You.

By Cinderella Gluecklich

 

 

4 Responses to “YourStory: I Am Beautiful!”

  1. HI, I too went through this. I struggled enormously with whether or not to publish a pic on my website with a short pink shirt at 51 years old in my wheelchair, The Chair-iot. I did it and had fun instead of freaking!!! Just a strong CONGRATULATIONS to you!!!!!! Go look!! <3

  2. Medea C. says:

    Congratulations for your courage and spunkiness, Gina!
    Much love,
    Medea

  3. Cinderella says:

    Gina Maria,

    thank you very much! You did great, too. I’ve visited your page and really like it. Keep up your good work! :)))

  4. Samya says:

    You’re great! Never let other people tell you who you are or what you gotta do! Be yourself – because yourself is beautiful and amazing!

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